The longer you work on one system or application, the deeper the attachment. For years you have been investing in it—adding new features, updating functionality, fixing bugs and corner cases, polishing, and refactoring. If the product serves a need, you likely reap satisfaction for a job well done (and maybe you even received some raises or promotions as a result of your great work).
Attachment is a two-edged sword—without some form of attachment, it seems there is no way to have pride in your work. On the other hand, attachment leads to poorly designed solutions. For instance, we all know the hyper-certified person who knows every in and out of a particular vendor’s solution, and hence solves every problem in terms of that vendor’s products. Or the person who knows a particular network automation system and, as a result, solves every problem through automation.
The most pernicious forms of attachment in the network engineering world are to a single technology or vendor. One of the cycles I have seen play out many times across the last 30 years is: a new idea is invented; this new idea is applied to every possible problem anyone has ever faced in designing or operating a network; the resulting solution becomes overburdened and complicated; people complain about the complexity of the solution and rush to… the next new idea. I could name tens or hundreds of technologies that have been through this cycle over time.
Another related cycle: a team adopts a new technology in order to solve a problem.
Kate points out some very helpful ways to solve over-attachment at an organizational level. For instance, aligning on goals and purpose, and asking everyone to be open to ideas and alternatives. But these organizational level solutions are more difficult to apply at an individual level. How can this be applied to the individual—to your life?
Perhaps the most important piece of advice Kate gives here is ask for stories, not solutions. In telling stories you are not eliminating attachment but refocusing it. Rather than becoming attached to a solution or technology, you are becoming attached to a goal or a narrative. This accepts that you will always be attached to something—in fact, that it is ultimately healthy to be attached to something outside yourself in a fundamental way. The life that is attached to nothing is ugly and self-centered, ultimately failing to accomplish anything.
Even here, however, there are tradeoffs. You can attach yourself to the story of a company, dedicating yourself to that single brand. To expand this a little, then, you should focus on stories about solving problems for people rather than stories about a product or technology. This might mean telling people they are wrong, by the way—sometimes the best thing is not what someone thinks they want.
Stories are ultimately about people. This is something not many people in engineering fields like to hear, because most of us are in these kinds of fields because we are either introverted, or because we struggle to relate to people in some other way.
To expand this a bit more, you should be willing to tell multiple stories, rather than just one. These stories might overlap or intersect, of course—I have been invested in a story about reducing complexity, disaggregation, and understanding why rather than how for the last ten or fifteen years. These three stories are, in many ways, the same story, just told from different perspectives. You need to allow the story to be shaped, and the path to tell that story to change, over time.
Realize your work is neither as bad as you think it is, nor as good as you think it is. Do not take criticism personally. This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way, from receiving many manuscripts back covered in red marks, either physical or virtual. Failure is not an option; it is a requirement. The more you fail, the more you will actively seek out the tradeoffs, and approach problems and people with humility.
Finally, you need to internalize modularity. Do not try to solve all the problems with a single solution, no matter how neat or new. Part of this is going to go back to understanding why things work the way they do and the limits of people (including yourself!). Solve problems incrementally and set limits on what you will try to do with any single technology.
Ultimately, refusing to become overly attached is a matter of attitude. It is something that is learned through hard work, a skill developed across time.